How Do You Get Out of The Friend Zone With Your Ex?

Uh-oh, you’ve been sent to the friend zone.  How do you get out of the friend zone with your ex? What exactly does this mean, and how should you handle it?  One would think that being able to remain friends after a breakup is a good thing, right?  Well, it’s a nice idea but it often falls short in the “actually able to do” arena.  Let’s look at a few reasons why choosing to remain in the friend zone may not be such a good idea.

Reasons to Not Stay Friends With An Ex

The first reason is really a no-brainer.  Being friends with an ex does not allow you to fully get over the loss of your romantic relationship.  When you realize that you are never going to be unable to get back together with someone, you have to remove them from your life for a period of time.  This gives you time to emotionally heal from the pain of that loss.  If you try to maintain a friendship you are exposed to your ex regularly and feelings will stay muddled.

Another reason staying friends with an ex is a bad idea is because they never have to miss you.  By breaking up with you but remaining your friend, they have lost nothing — they have removed you from an emotional position in their lives, but have kept you around for all the “fun” things.  Never are they without someone to catch a movie with or a drinking buddy.

How to Handle Being Asked to Stay Friends

Now that we understand that the breakup friend zone is a bad place to be, especially if you want to ever get back together, what are our options when asked to stay friends?  This is the easiest question to answer: SAY NO!!  I know this sounds so much easier to say than it is to do.  However it is for the best.  Just tell yourself that in the long run saying no is the healthiest thing you can do.  It gives you time to heal and your ex time to realize they miss you and just maybe want you back.

• Read: Reverse a Breakup With Self-Improvement

Don’t allow yourself to believe that being friends is better than not being in that person’s life at all.  This is simply not a true statement.  If you allow yourself to be relegated to the friend zone, your ex will remain in the power position in your life as long as you stay there.  By agreeing to remain friends you are basically letting them know that you still need and want them in your life.  Even if this is true, you need to remain in control of your feelings and let your ex know that you are okay with moving on from the breakup.

Disagreeing to remain friends also gives the ex some time to see that they might be making a huge mistake.  They will realize that they are going to miss having you around, especially if you have other romantic interests as an option.  Sometimes a little twinge of jealousy is all it takes to help someone realize they are making a mistake.

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