Understanding The Reasons Behind Your Breakup

Often times when there is a breakup, one feels as if they were completely blindsided.  One day you’re getting along fine and everything seems great, then the next thing you know you’re alone.  If you were broken up with, you might not understand why or how this happened because you were happy and you assumed things were good.  Often times, the “What Happened?” is not an easy question to answer.  As human beings, we don’t always understand our own feelings, so it is nearly impossible to guess how another feels about situations and why they do what they do.

Common Reasons for Breakups

Man with broken heart.First of all, let’s look at some common explanations for breakups of seemingly happy relationships.

  • Fear: Maybe the other person was scared.  Perhaps they were experiencing deep feelings that they didn’t know how to understand or deal with.  Often in situations like this, it’s easier to run away than to figure out to process and deal with what we’re feeling.

  • Completely un-related personal crisis: The loss of a relationship sometimes truly has nothing to do with the other person.  If one half of a couple is dealing with a deeply personal issue, they simply may not feel that it is fair to stay in a relationship where they cannot give their all.

  • Feelings simply aren’t returned:  This happens quite a bit, actually.  The old adage “he’s just not that into you”, is more common than people realize.  If you find yourself in this situation, know that eventually you will realize you that letting it go and moving on is truly the best action for everyone involved.

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How to Get Over a Breakup

Once you can identify and understand the reasoning behind your breakup, give yourself some time and then start picking yourself up and moving forward.  Breakups can be extremely difficult and emotional, remember that it’s okay to emotional pain is normal and it’s okay to be sad.

woman longing

It is also important to remember during the early stages of a breakup that the other person is dealing with this breakup too and that even if they are the ones who chose to end the relationship, they still are hurting too.  Avoid confrontation and playing games that might end up in more pain for both of you.  Remember that you can’t be sure what is going to happen in the future and you may get back together.  If that is the case, you don’t want your new relationship tainted by cruel things that were said or done during a separation.

Breakups are never easy.  Understanding why the breakup occurred and dealing with the loss and sadness in healthy way are the first steps to getting yourself back to ‘normal’.  Even though it sounds cliché, time really does heal the wound of a broken heart.  You may always feel a twinge of sadness when you see an ex, but understanding what caused your relationship to end will help you to form stronger bonds in the future.